The Greek Myths: Tales of Symphonia style
by Devino
Summary: Some of the most popular Greek myths with Tales of Symphonia characters substituted. Please only pleasant reviews I no not all the details are going to be perfect,on both the game and the myths but please just enjoy the stories.
1. Daedulus and Icarus

Disclaimer: This is the beginning of a collection of Tales of Symphonia fanfiction based on traditional greek myths. So yes, there is a connection between the chapters. And if anyone knows the non-Disney Hercules version of these myths will know that they are extremely graphic in nature, containing violence, sexual references and incest... lots and lots of incest.

In the tallest tower of Derris-Kharlan, Lloyd and Kratos are locked up

Kratos: (sarcastically) Why are we here again?

Lloyd: (totally not understanding that this was a rhetorical question): Yggdrasill asked you to make a new sub-headquarters for Cruxis Corporation, and since he didn't want any renegades finding it; he locked us up in this tower.

Kratos: (to himself) Must not let stupidity get to me... (Aloud) Lloyd that's the only way. We must fly out of the window to escape.

Lloyd: Yeah! I get to fly! (pops out extremely gaudy angel wings)

Kratos: Remember now... don't fly too high or you'll get zapped by the electrical currents and don't fly too low or the scouts on the outer walls will kill you.

Lloyd completely ignoring Kratos jumps out of the window: Whee!

Kratos then watches with mild interest as Lloyd promptly flies into the electrical storm that surrounds the Angel city like a fly to one of those bug zapper lights.

Kratos then flies to safety, and in a couple decades forgets his son's very existence.

Next time! the myth of Daphne and Apollo.


	2. Oedipus Rex

Ante Script: I told you there'd be incest... and Anna is alive somehow in this one... how? I don't really know it was the only way this myth would work, since she is the only non-insane mother figure in this game. Sorry about this I didn't post the myth I said I would. I'll get to Apollo and Daphne eventually, I just felt like writing this one now. Don't take the pairing in this one too seriously it's the only one that would work in this game. Think about it... Lloyd is the only character with both his parents mentioned. The whole game's plot is basically thrown to the wind also, but don't dwell on that too long, or else you won't get the gist of the story...

I listened to all your good advice comments, and am trying to implement it starting now, with this chapter.

Lloyd was walking down a dusty street leading to the middle of nowhere doing something he is very unaccustomed to: thinking. He had just set out from his "father" Dirk's house, after he had heard a very disturbing prophesy delivered by a man with an aqua ponytail. He had told him that he would kill his father and marry his mother. Lloyd, being the imbecile that he is didn't realize that there was no earthly way that he could be the spawn of dwarves two feet shorter than him, and that if he stayed put there was no earthly way Yuan's prophesy would come true. But, since he is that stupid, Lloyd left his foster parents' home to go into exile.

WHAM! Not being able to stop, a man with auburn hair that inexplicably never shifted from in front of his right eye ran his chariot right into Lloyd. "... who are you?" Kratos asked.

"Are you a bandit?" Lloyd returned, unsheathing his swords without any real provocation.

"No... I just want you to pay for the damages you inflicted on my chariot."

"Whatever! You look like a bandit, so I'll kill you anyway." Lloyd said happily, starting to advance. But since Lloyd is really not that great of a swordsman, and really is only able to kill enemies because he's the main character, he was unable to kill Kratos without seriously leveling up first. So Kratos just flew away to Derris Kharlan, never to be seen again. But since it goes along with the myth, everyone thought he died. (Hey it happens with Yggdrasill doesn't it?)

Then Lloyd came to the entrance of a magnificent city, unfortunately, there was a weird half-man half-turtle thing sitting on a rock, blocking the entrance. "I will only let you pass if you solve my riddle" Rodyle said, "Or if you don't I can have my way with you!"

"You mean you're gonna eat me?" Lloyd asked going pale.

"okay let's just go with that... on to the riddle!" Rodyle said, looking amazed that a seventeen year old boy didn't understand what he was saying. "What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"

"What the heck is a swallow? Do we even have them in Sylvarant?" Lloyd asked confused as usual.

"AH! You bumbling fool! Your idiocy has destroyed my will to live!" Saying this Rodyle jumped off a cliff.

The people of the city, having being saved from the evil perverted monster, married Lloyd to the inexplicably widowed queen, Anna. "Are you sure I haven't met you before?" Anna asked perplexed.

"Nope!" Lloyd said, not even taking the time to think what Anna said over.

"I'm pretty sure there was a locket involved..." She said, refusing to give up.

"I know where you've met him before." Yuan strode in, like the magic elf-man he is. "I didn't think someone would be so dumb as to not realize that he was a completely different race from his "parents" but then I haven't encountered many people that wear bright red overalls and a creepy scarf that defies all laws of physics..."

"So what's your point?" Lloyd asked since neither Kratos or Regal were there to state the obvious.

"You've married your mother and as far as the people of this city are concerned, you've killed your father." Yuan said, exasperated. "Now you're going to be tormented for all eternity by the Furies, who will never let your soul rest in peace."

"Oh (insert any of the random out of context swearwords Lloyd uses here)!"

Post Script: You may notice that this doesn't exactly go perfectly with the myth, well, I'm tired, and if I ever feel like it I'll fix it. So tune in next week for the myth that I promised last week!


	3. Apollo and Daphne

Ante Script: I know I said I'd do this two weeks ago, but I'm just getting to this now. So here it is what no one was waiting for: Apollo and Daphne Tales of Symphonia style! I don't really know if Yggdrasill has an office or even a headquarters, but he has one as of now. why? because every evil head of a corporation has one.

Yggdrasill sits in his office in the headquarters of Cruxic Corporation fuming about something. He presses a shiny red button on his desk labeled "Press this to page puny underling". In a flurry of wings, a angel with blonde hair and a creepy pope hat is standing in front of his desk he seems to be in the middle of something.

"Yggdrasill why did you have to page me now?" he demands. "I was just convincing a minor that I was her father so as to lure her into a false sense of security!"

"Normally, I'd let you'd continue with that, but I've been thinking about something." Yggdrasill said taking no steps to hide his obvious boredom. "Zelos has been committing too many infidelities as of late. He's so busy chasing women, that he hasn't been performing his duties as my lackey, and for this he must be punished!" While saying this, Yggdrasill begins rummaging in a cabinet behind his desk. He pulls out a bow and quiver of arrows and hands them to Remiel.

"Why do these have a tag on them that say 'if found, return to Eros?'" Remiel asked, examining the bow and quiver carefully.

Ignoring him, Yggdrasill begins to instruct Remiel on what to do with the arrows. "There are two types of arrows in that quiver arrows of gold and arrows of lead. You will shoot Zelos with one of gold and the closest girl to him with one of lead. He will fall deeply in love with the girl, and she will hate his guts from that moment onward."

"What happens if I refuse?" Remiel asked curious.

"Then I'll call Kratos in here." Yggdrasill replied.

"Yes sir!" Remiel said, and Yggdrasill pressed a second button on his desk this one labeled "Dispense with underling"

Zelos and Colette are wandering around the forest surrounding the town of Iselia. "Where did Lloyd and the others go?" Colette asks Zelos, confused.

"Don't you know my honey? they're not showing up in this chapter." Zelos replied. "Since we're all alone, do you want to do "chosen" only things with me?" He asked obviously hinting at things I'm not allowed to describe under the T rating.

Totally not understanding the underlying message of this, Colette continues walking "OH! it's a bunny!" she screeched, running into the waaay to cute to be harmful monster. After the unnecessarily long battle scene, Remiel pops out of the bushes.

"Aren't you only supposed to show up in temples?" Colette asked him.

"What do you think I do while I wait for you to show up? Just sit there?" He said brandishing his bow. "Anyway down to business! Think fast!" after saying this, he shot them with their respective arrows.

"Colette my darling I love you!" Zelos said, with an even madder glint in his eye than normal when he talks to a woman.

"EWWWW! The only man for me is Lloyd!" Colette said running toward Frank's house.

"Real father help me!" She screamed, running into his yard. "A crazed man with red hair and a headband is chasing me!"

"Hmm... Frank thought to himself "If I let this man have her, I'll be considered a bad parent, but I'm not close enough to actually stop him from tackling her to the ground. I know!" He said the last thing aloud. Using magic that is not even hinted at in the game, he turned Colette into a sudwoodo tree.

"How the heck am I supposed to rape a tree?" Zelos asked stopping. "I know!" The following scene is too graphic to describe, but he did it. oh yes he did it.

Post script: a sudwoodo isn't in tales of symphonia so don't bug me about it okay? I don't really know what I'll do next, but it may be Pyramus and Thisbe or the tale of Agamemnon. Just so you guys know, I'll probably be updating every Tuesday or Friday from now on.


End file.
